


You're Home Now

by TheRegularWriter



Series: The Scientist [2]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: (Both platonically and romantically), Angst and Fluff, Awkwardness, Big Brother Sans, Body Horror, Brotherly Bonding, But he's right, Caring Grillby, Dadster, Denial of Feelings, Family Bonding, Flashbacks, Gaster Needs a Hug, Gaster is a dork, Good W. D. Gaster, Goop Dad needs to be protected at all costs, Hallucinations, Holding Hands, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mention of Resets, Non-Binary Frisk, Panic Attacks, Papyrus is so protective of his father it's not even funny, Past Character Death, Past Relationship(s), Post-Undertale Pacifist Route, Protective Papyrus, Recovery, Requited Love, Sad Gaster, Single Parent Grillby, Skelebros need a hug too, Trauma, Traumatized Gaster, Veteran Grillby, Worried Papyrus, Younger Brother Papyrus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-25
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-08-23 07:19:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8318911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRegularWriter/pseuds/TheRegularWriter
Summary: It has been a few days since Gaster escaped the Void. His life has finally changed for the better, but he can't help but still feel like he's stuck in that dimension.He also wonders...... what if his new life is another illusion created by the Void?





	1. Lost

**Author's Note:**

> I never thought I'd write anything else for "Imaginary Friend", but I came to realize that I didn't write much about Gaster's struggles after escaping the Void and I thought it would be nice to write about how the characters are doing after that event. Besides, I recently started shipping Gaster/Grillby and I made up a whole scenario about them meeting each other again!
> 
> This fic takes place between chapters 15 and 16 of "Imaginary Friend" and it will probably have two chapters, but I'm not confirming it for now.
> 
> I apologize for any mistakes in the writing and if the characters are OOC here. It's also my first time writing Grillby and Asgore so I hope it's good enough.
> 
> Enjoy!

It was a typical autumn day, which clearly marked the approach of winter - the weather was cold and windy, the chances of raining increasing as the day passed. It was actually comforting for Gaster, who had always enjoyed the cold weather. He had quite missed it while being trapped in the Void. However, as the sky darkened, he could feel chills - not good chills, but  _bad_  ones. He grew to be terrified of the darkness after that horrible experience. He'd dream constantly about returning to that empty place and... it just felt so real. Sometimes he would actually think that his new life was nothing but an illusion created by the Void.

Gaster had thought about looking for a psychologist, but he realized that it might not help much. He didn't expect that anyone would understand what he had gone through. No one would ever get what it was like to have nothing but the darkness around you, how it was to lose completely the track of time (Gaster himself hadn't been able to tell how long he had been stuck in the Void until he finally saw Sans and Papyrus already grown up) or... how it was to have distorted voices screaming inside your head, always reminding you of your mistakes, telling you absolutely horrible things... Although he had told Frisk and Sans about most of the Void's aspects, he would never tell anyone the actual feeling of being its prisoner.  _Nobody would ever understand_.

Gaster didn't want to worry anyone. He would feel scared, he would have several nightmares and be terrified of the darkness, but he just wanted to be happy and move on. He was living on the surface with his family; he knew there was no reason for him to be scared any longer, but... he just didn't have the heart to let anyone know. His family and friends would always be there for him, but... he didn't want to burden them of his anguishes. Not when he had already been the reason of his sons' suffering and Frisk's near death experience.

The scientist sighed deeply while putting on his good old black overcoat. He could hear Asgore humming a joyful song from the kitchen. Gaster couldn't help but smile. His meeting with the former king had just ended. After Asgore found out about him being back, he had immediately called Frisk and invited Gaster to come over and reunite, like the old times. The two monsters had been very good friends in the past, so it was great to see Asgore again. The goat had been so happy when he saw him for the first time in decades, it warmed Gaster's soul. He wished he could stay a little longer but he wanted to go home. He would avoid going to the street at night whenever he could; not that he didn't feel safe staying at Asgore's house, but he was more comfortable at  _home_  with his sons, Frisk and Toriel. He felt a lot safer inside the house with his family rather than outside, in the darkness, the emptiness of the street...

Gaster found himself staring at the horizon from the window of Asgore's living room. The sky was cloudy and continued getting darker. He gulped, looking at it with a certain fear. He immediately froze when he heard odd noises...

He swore he could hear the same distorted voices whispering:

**_Did you really think you would escape?_ **

He couldn't help but gasp when he felt a gentle touch on his right shoulder. Next to him stood Asgore, who looked at him with concern. Gaster cleared his throat and faked a smile, which obviously didn't work.

"Are you alright, friend?" Asgore asked.

**_WHY, YES, I WAS JUST, HUH... THINKING._ **

"You look afraid. Is... is there anything bothering you?"

 ** _YOUR MAJESTY- I-I MEAN, ASGORE,_** Gaster cleared his throat again, his cheeks getting slightly warmer. He would accidentally call Asgore "your majesty" since he had been used to do it in the past.  ** _I AM FINE. IT'S JUST... WELL, LIFE HAS CHANGED SO MUCH FOR ME, MY FRIEND... IT STILL... SURPRISES ME THAT SUDDENLY EVERYTHING... IS DIFFERENT NOW, YOU KNOW?_**

Asgore nodded, but he didn't seem very convinced. "I see."

 ** _I BETTER GO BEFORE IT GETS TOO LATE._** Gaster said while buttoning up his overcoat.

"Sure, sure. You have a family and you better cherish your precious time with them." Asgore smiled sadly after saying that. Gaster knew why it made him like that, but didn't comment on it.

 ** _IT WAS NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN._** The scientist smiled.

"You should come over more often! And you can bring your boys or Frisk, too. We should all have some tea together, shouldn't we?" Asgore let out a lighthearted laugh.

**_WE SURE NEED TO. I'LL SEE YOU AGAIN SOMETIME._ **

"Oh, would you like me to take you home?"

**_AH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO._ **

"Alright then. Take care, my friend." Asgore gave Gaster a hug. He sure loved hugs... "Tell Toriel and the others I said hi."

 ** _I WILL. GOODBYE, ASGORE._** Gaster said, slightly proud of himself for not making the mistake of referring to Asgore as "Your Majesty".

"Bye, WingDing!"

Gaster smirked, as he wasn't very used with others calling him by his first name. He opened the house's door and closed after giving one last smile to Asgore. His joy soon faded as his gaze encountered the sky, which was darker than the last time he checked. He let out a deep sigh. He honestly didn't want to go home alone, but... he just wanted to get over it. He was an adult, not a scared little child.

Taking a deep breath, Gaster walked away.

* * *

Despite having a preference for sunny days, Frisk was actually having a good time inside the house.

They still recovered from the surgery that had occurred a few days before. They would soon be able to go out, but they didn't complain much; not when they had their wonderful family to take care of them and the fact that Gaster was safe and was finally home filled them with enough determination to not let the pain in their tummy consume them.

In that cold Thursday afternoon, Frisk was eating pie and watching TV while covering themself with a warm blanket. The house was warm and smelled delicious. They gave a glance to the window next to the couch, noticing that it was almost night. The sky was way darker than before and Frisk could see the wind gaining a little more force. The street was getting emptier due to the weather, considering that most people outside protected themselves from the cold and the upcoming rain. Frisk wondered if Gaster was still at Asgore's, hoping that he was doing okay. He wouldn't admit it, but Frisk knew how scared he would get in the nighttime. Maybe he would stay a little longer with Asgore due to the drastic change in the weather.

Frisk's attention was drawn back to the television, at least until they heard noises coming from upstairs. They soon remembered that Sans and Papyrus were home after recognizing their voices. Frisk couldn't understand what they were saying but Papyrus sounded very distressed while Sans attempted to calm him down, though they did notice concern in his deep voice. Frisk raised an eyebrow in confusion. Before the child could do anything, the skeletons went downstairs. Papyrus looked very concerned and it looked like he would cry in any second. Sans's usual grin was slightly frowned, but he was apparently taking the situation better than his brother. Frisk looked at the two with concern.

"W-What's wrong?" They asked.

"papyrus is worried about dad since he hasn't answered any phone calls and he told us he would be home by now." Sans sighed while looking at the clock in the wall and then gazing at Papyrus. "but i know he's fine. he's proabably having a good time at asgore's."

"BUT HE WOULD LET US KNOW IF HE WAS GOING TO BE LATE!"

"bro, calm down. look, i'm gonna call asgore, ok? i'm sure dad's still there, the two are having a long talk. i mean, seriously, they haven't seen each other in  _years_."

Sans picked his cell phone and dialed Asgore's number. He only smiled to make his brother feel better, but Papyrus didn't seem any more confident.

"hello? sup, fluffybuns?" Sans said, letting out a chuckle. "is my dad still there? papyrus wants to know and-"

Suddenly, Sans's smile was fully replaced by a frown. Papyrus looked more nervous.

"what? he's... he's not there?" The short skeleton asked, gazing at his brother with certain shock. "so, he's already gone... he left, uh, by himself?" He waited for Asgore's answer and then nodded. "ok, thanks for telling me. bye."

Sans hung up, sighing as both Papyrus and Frisk looked at him, waiting for the justification of Gaster's delay.

"welp..." The comedian skeleton started. "i have no idea where he is. asgore said he's been gone for a while now..."

"W-WHAT? HE'S ALONE AND- OH GOD, WHERE IS HE?!" Papyrus asked, desesperate.

Sans looked up at his brother, trying to smile.

"look, i... i bet he's doing fine." He said. "he's probably, y'know, exploring the city? you know much he loves the human world. he's been doing that in the past days after returning from the void."

Papyrus stayed in silence for a while until he let out a deep sigh. Frisk heard footsteps coming from the kitchen. Toriel appeared, holding a plate and a dishcloth.

"Is there something wrong?" She asked. "I heard something about Gaster."

"yea, he's not at asgore's anymore and he's taking a while to get back home. but hey, i bet he's on his way. i don't think he's very far from home."

Sans glanced at the window with certain concern, murmuring: "... not when it's almost night."

Frisk did the same, sighing. Everyone knew about Gaster's fear of the dark and the fact that he was probably wandering around in the middle of the night was quite concerning. No wonder why Papyrus was so distressed.

"well, we should probably wait." Sans shrugged, the concern suddenly fading from his face.

"WHAT?! OUR FATHER IS GONE AND YOU DECIDE TO WAIT?! WE'VE WAITED ENOUGH!!" Papyrus screamed, startling everyone else in the room.

"hey, hey, easy. c'mon, pap, i'm sure he's okay-"

"WHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO HIM, SANS?! HE'S ALONE AND IT'S ALREADY NIGHT AND-"

"papyrus, calm down, d-don't- don't freak out, ok? easy, bro, easy."

Sans held Papyrus's hand for a moment in order to calm him down. Toriel and Frisk watched the two with sad and worried faces. The two skeletons, specially Papyrus, had been very traumatized by their father's disappearence. It was understandable, but also very saddening to see those two  _extremely_  concerned by Gaster's well being. Sans obviously wouldn't show his concern, but he wouldn't fool anyone. He was as scared as Papyrus; Frisk could see it on his eyes (or eyesockets?).

"WE NEED TO FIND HIM! WHAT I-IF SOMETHING HAPPENS?!" Papyrus said, almost crying out of panic.

"shhh, papyrus..." Sans pulled him closer for a hug. "easy..."

Papyrus quickly returned the hug, burying his face on Sans's blue jacket. The short skeleton sighed deeply after a while, tightening the hug a little bit before letting Papyrus go. He reached for his hand again and gave him a sad smile.

"he's fine, pap." Sans said. "do you trust me?"

Papyrus sniffled, taking a few seconds to nod in response.

"I... I-I DO. O-OF COURSE I DO." He said, finally.

Sans then looked at Toriel, approaching her.

"we'll go look for him." He said. "we'll be right back, ok?"

"Alright then." Toriel sighed, but smiled. "You can borrow my car, as long as you don't use magic for anything dangerous."

Sans looked away nervously, then laughing it off. "heh, 'course."

Toriel gave a small laugh, but soon returned to her serious self. "Be careful, alright?"

"okay, see ya, tori." Sans's gaze met Frisk's and he waved at them.

"Bye, guys." The human said.

"later, kiddo." Sans looked up at Papyrus again and gave him a pat on his back. "c'mon pap."

Papyrus nodded sadly, looking way calmer than before. Sans picked Toriel's car keys from the key holder and left the house with his brother. Toriel's smile faded and she looked at human, sitting next to them.

"I hope Gaster is alright." She said.

"Me too." Frisk nodded sadly.

Toriel glanced at the window, letting out a sigh. She stared at the floor, not even paying attention to the television. Her expression... it didn't look like she was just worried about Gaster. She was also feeling something else... something deeper.

"Are you okay?" Frisk asked.

Toriel simply pulled them closer with her right arm. She didn't even look at them.

"I am fine." She said.

Frisk knew she wasn't, but they didn't have the courage to ask her what was wrong. They felt like what she was feeling was probably too deep to be shared with.

* * *

It was strangely silent...

There weren't many people in the streets (the town wasn't too crowded anyway) due to the cold weather, but Gaster didn't really care about it. His overcoat was warm enough for him. However, what was concerning him was the colour of the sky... It had weak shades of blue mixed to strong shades of gray. It clearly showed that rain was on its way, but it still wasn't raining.

Gaster was kind of lost. He had gone to Asgore's house by car with Papyrus, but he didn't think anyone needed to take him home. He thought he would be fine walking by himself so he didn't need to depend on anyone. Besides, even if he wanted anyone to pick him up, it wouldn't be possible. Gaster's brand-new cell phone (not exactly new; it was Papyrus's old one) had no reception. What was even worse was that he was out of money, so he couldn't take a bus or a taxi to go home, or even use a payphone to call anyone.

He remembered the address and it was actually easy to find the house where he lived. Most monsters lived near Mount Ebott, so it was easy to know how far he was from home.

The problem was that the mountain was entirely covered by the fog.

Gaster remained calm. Asgore's home wasn't actually that far from home, so he wasn't far, right? At least he hoped so. He... he couldn't even remember where he had come from, though. Actually, it was one of Gaster's... strange habits; he would easily forget about certain things, mostly simple ones. 

 **OH GOD...** He thought, sighing.  **THIS IS GOING TO BE HARDER THAN I THOUGHT.**

Despite fearing the darkness, he continued walking. Taking deep breaths, he was finally feeling more...  _confident_.

A smile formed on his face. He was slowly feeling better.

...

...

_You really thought it was over?_

Gaster's eyes widened, stopping immediately. He looked around. There was no one but him in the street. The parked cars were empty.

_You think you have really escaped, don't you?_

No...

Not the distorted voices again...

 ** _PLEASE, LEAVE ME ALONE._** He said out loud, sighing deeply.

The voices laughed in response.

 ** _You_** _will never leave the Void._ They answered, becoming louder than usual.  _You never left._

Gaster's breathing changed and he started walking again. He wasn't happy with the situation. Not at all.

_You think you can run away? You cannot flee from it. **You cannot avoid it, you idiot.**_

He ignored the voices, walking a little faster. He had no idea where he was going to, but he didn't care anymore. He just wanted to leave, to go somewhere else... not even home, just... somewhere...

Somewhere far from the past.

**_You cannot run from the Void, WingDing Gaster._ **

Gaster continued ignoring them.

**_You are still a part of it._ **

Silence.

Suddenly, the voices, realizing that he wasn't paying attention, stopped talking. Gaster sighed in relief and even walked slower, feeling a little better...

Until...

...

Everything slowly became darker.

Gaster gasped. The sky turned black, no stars or clouds could be seen, followed by the darkness sucking the buildings, cars, the street... everything was being sucked by the darkness.

 ** _W-WHAT- WHAT IS GOING ON?!_** He screamed, panting.

_You cannot escape._

Distorted, gray figures appeared in front of him. Their bodies were melting.

_You do not deserve this life, anyway._

**_STOP! LEAVE ME ALONE!_** He screamed.

Gaster ran to the other direction as fast as possible. He had no idea why that was happening. Was he  **really**  in the real world?  _Was he still stuck in the Void?_

**_The Void is where you belong to. It is the place for despicable beings like you. You cannot ever escape it._ **

Gaster continued running, feeling that those figures were chasing him. Then... then literally everything became dark...  ** _Dark, dark yet darker, the darkness kept growing and the shadows cutting deeper._**

No... he couldn't be stuck in that prison of despair! His new life couldn't be another illusion! The Void had tricked him so many times, but... it wasn't like that anymore!... Was it?

 ** _THIS- THIS DOESN'T MAKE SENSE! I AM FREE!_** Gaster screamed at the darkness  ** _I AM NO LONGER A PRISONER OF THAT HORRID PLACE!_**

The voices laughed evilly at him. Gaster's eyes flamed furiously, which let him know that his pupils were purple. Tears formed on his eyes and rolled down his face. He repeated to himself that he was okay and he was free, but... his hope was gradually decreasing. He could feel it fading.

_You idiot. You think you can be free after everything you have done?_

**GOD, NOT AGAIN-** Gaster thought.  **IT'S OVER, THIS IS ALL OVER, YOU'RE NOT IN THERE ANYMORE, GASTER-**

_How pathetic... you keep telling that you are free, but you... you will never be._

Gaster fell on his knees, sobbing loudly.

 ** _NO... NO, STOP THIS!_** He screamed.

The voices laughed again, and laughed, and laughed, and laughed... Gaster cried and couldn't stop. He couldn't understand what was going on. He had thought everything was okay.

It was over, wasn't it...?

 **NO, THIS... THIS IS NOT REAL.** Gaster thought.  **THIS IS ALL JUST A BAD DREAM.**

The voices laughed louder this time, saying:

_It indeed is a bad dream..._

**_. . . A N D  Y O U  A R E  N E V E R  W A K I N G  U P ._ **

The gray figures popped in front of him, laughing louder and louder. They looked even more horrifying. Gaster screamed as loud as he could, even though he knew, deep inside, that no one would help him. There wouldn't be Frisk, Sans or Papyrus to save him this time.

Nobody would come.

**_NO! STOP!!!_ **

The laughing wouldn't stop. Gaster looked at his hands, which also melted. He screamed but he stopped doing so after realizing how useless it was.

_Nobody will save you. You don't even deserve to be saved._

Minutes (which felt like  _hours_ , in reality) of evil laughing and pain passed. Gaster sobbed loud, not understand a single thing of what was going on. He closed his eyes, buried his face on his hands again and cried. There was nothing else he could do. There was no one to save him...

...

...

 _~~Hello?~~ _ ~~~~

That voice... it was... quite familiar. But Gaster wasn't able to recognize it. He wouldn't look up, either. It was probably another illusion.

_Just like his new life had been._

_~~M... Mister? Can you hear me? A... Are you okay?~~ _ ~~~~

**_S... STOP..._** Gaster said.  ** _S-STOP DOING THIS TO ME! I- I-I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANY LONGER!_**

 _~~W... What? Mister, l... let me help you.~~ _ ~~~~

**_EVERYTHING IS A LIE..._** Gaster sobbed.

Suddenly, he felt something... something warm. Warm and... comforting. Gaster wouldn't move.

 _ ~~Hey, I... I don't know what's wrong, but...~~_ A sigh was heard.  _ ~~Look, everything will be okay.~~_ ~~~~

**_NO, IT... IT WON'T._ **

_~~Trust me, friend. It may be bad, but... it won't be like that forever. Life always finds its way. It gets better.~~ _ ~~~~

The voice... it sounded like a man. It was a very calm voice. So familiar... The warm feeling on his right shoulder was making Gaster actually feel... safer. He came to realize that the distorted voices weren't speaking anymore.

 **THIS IS NOT REAL, NOTHING... NOTHING IS REAL.** Gaster thought, shaking his head, while tears would still wet his hands.

 _~~Oh... It seems like a storm is about to come. Let me take you somewhere else. It's about to rain and you seem lost.~~ _ ~~~~

Gaster wouldn't answer that... thing. He didn't know who or _what_  was speaking to him. He wouldn't look at it, though.

 _~~Here, let me help you get up.~~ _ ~~~~

That warm thing... _helped him get up_. Then, small things touched his face. It felt like... rain.

 _ ~~Good thing I brought my umbrella.~~_ The voice murmured.

 **WHAT...? IT'S... I-IT'S ACTUALLY... RAINING...?** Gaster thought, confused.

Suddenly, the raindrops stopped falling on him. What on earth was going on?

Gaster took a while before taking his hands off his face and open his eyes. The darkness was gone. The figures were gone. The town was back to normal, except that... something- no,  _someone_  was with him.

"My bar is near, so I think it would be better if we-"

The fire monster became silent when he looked at Gaster.


	2. Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (EDIT: OH GOD, I posted the same chapter twice, i'm so sorry!! I fixed it now!)
> 
> I'm reposting this because I wasn't very satisfied with the other version... (well, idk if I've made any major changes anyway, but I think this version is a bit more, uh, complete?)  
> I'm sorry for the delay, though. Exam week started and now I have little time to write ;-;

Looking for Gaster filled the skeleton brothers with tension.

It started raining and the fog covered buildings and slightly blurred the view of the streets, making it challenging for both Sans and Papyrus to see what was around them. Furthermore, it was very dark, yet it wasn't that late; Sans didn't see the time, but he was sure that it was earlier than 10:00 PM, but it seemed like it was later. Fortunately, Sans and Papyrus were in Toriel's car, which wasn't convertible and was actually more comfortable than Papyrus's (Sans could even sleep in the passenger seat, but his father's safety was more important than his resting needs). Speaking of that, Papyrus's car was still being repaired due to the accident that had happened in the day of Gaster's return and, much to the skeleton's dislike, it would take a while for the repair to be finished, followed by a high price since the car insurance was quite expensive.

In any case, the two were awfully quiet; Papyrus was worse than Sans, for that matter. The latter actually attempted to initiate a conversation, but his brother wouldn't cooperate much. Papyrus looked very distressed, too. Sans could see his hands shaking a little, his eyes focused on the street with fear and concern... he wasn't doing well. Although it was to be expected for both brothers to start being more protective of their father after his return, Sans had never imagined that Papyrus would be so  _traumatized_. Not that he could blame him, though; the last time Gaster left home and didn't return any soon had  **almost**  ended up in a tragedy. Sans was forced to admit to himself that he was as scared as his brother, but what was odd was the fact that  _Papyrus_  was the one who had dealt better with Gaster's abscence rather than Sans. Not only that, but he was the one who had calmed Sans down when Frisk's life was in danger as well. Now the opposite was happening. The brothers' roles would constantly change...

Papyrus would be very, very protective of Gaster. At first, Sans had thought it was somehow funny in a good way, considering that the opposite (the father worrying about the son) would commonly happen, but he came to realize that it wasn't at all. His brother was so scared of losing their father again and Sans completely understood that. However, he hated letting Papyrus suffer. The tall skeleton wasn't feeling well enough to drive the car, especially in a rainy and foggy weather.

"hey, uh, i think ya need a break, bro." Sans said, smiling with concern. "i can take the steering wheel from here."

Papyrus didn't even look at him. He frowned a little and also took a while to say anything in response.

"THANK YOU, BUT THAT WON'T BE NEEDED."

"pap, c'mon..."

Papyrus didn't answer with words, instead shaking his head as a response. Sans sighed.

"papyrus, you're not okay." The short skeleton said. "let me do this for you."

"I'M ALRIGHT, SANS!" Papyrus sounded irritated at his brother's offers, firmly holding the steering wheel.

Sans stared at Papyrus with certain shock, the latter refusing to look at him. His frown turned into a more irritated expression. Sans noticed that the speed of the car slightly increased all of a sudden. He realized that he had no choice; he knew he had promised Papyrus, and somehow Toriel, he wouldn't do this ever again, but he would do anything for his brother's sake. With that, Sans's left hand glowed blue and he stopped the car with his magic. Although it was actually smooth, it still startled Papyrus. The vehicle stopped in the middle of the wet and empty street. Papyrus held the driver's seat firmly and panted, his eyes widened.

"SANS!" Papyrus yelled at Sans, looking at him with disbelief and anger. "WHAT HAVE I AND LADY TORIEL TOLD YOU ABOUT USING MAGIC TO CONTROL CARS?!"

"sorry bro, but you really need to take a  **brake**." Sans let out a small chuckle. Papyrus sighed deeply.

"SANS, I'M TELLING YOU, I'M FINE-"

" _no, you're not_."

Papyrus flinched at his brother's tone, his face suddenly softening, which made Sans immediately regret the way he spoke to him. The comedian sighed and gently touched Papyrus's arm.

"papyrus, don't lie to me." He said, way softer than before. "i can see you're not okay. i just... i don't want you feeling any more stressed, okay?"

Papyrus looked away. Sans sighed again.

"look, bro... let's switch roles. i promise i'll be careful, okay?" He said.

The usually cheerful skeleton finally looked at Sans, defeated. Nobody could defeat the Great Papyrus at anything, but, apparently, Sans did it, which was... actually surprising. That had never happened before, not as he remembered. Papyrus nodded sadly.

"I... I'M SORRY." He said. "I'M... I'M JUST S-SCARED."

Sans sighed and squeezed Papyrus's arm, looking away. "i know, bro."

The two stayed silent for a while, listening to the rain falling on the car roof. It was quite relaxing, though. They remained on the same positions. Sans looked at his brother, his smile fading completely. Papyrus looked so worried and scared, it was quite saddening to watch his little brother in that state.

"y'know..." Sans broke the silence. "i... i have to admit that i kinda am, too."

Papyrus looked at him with certain shock. Well, Sans didn't show any signs of being scared whatsoever.

"REALLY?" The tall skeleton asked.

"yea... i know how you feel."

For a second, Sans felt like he was a merely little skeleton kid; the same feeling of concern for his father who didn't return home, having no idea where he could be or if something happened... The memory of  _that_  awful day suddenly popped in his mind.

* * *

_The little Sans was home (in their very, **very**  old house, the one located in New Home), watching television with young Papyrus. It was already late, the babysitter hadn't been able to come over, leaving Sans the responsibility of taking care of himself and his little brother, which wasn't that bad. Despite being a kid, Sans was actually responsible enough for his father to trust him at this task, though Papyrus could give some hard work sometimes._

_His father, though... where was he? He had told Sans he would be back by the night. He... he had promised he wouldn't get late so he would spend more time with his sons. Did something happen?_

_Sans looked up to the clock standing on the wall. It was already 10:00 PM._

**_he should've been back by now..._ ** _He thought. **w... well, maybe he's just... doing his science things? maybe... maybe he'll be a little late, but... h-he promised, right?**_

**_he promised..._ **

_"SANS?" Papyrus called him, which made Sans blink a few times due to his distraction._

_"yea, bro?" The older skeleton gave him a soft smile._

_"WHERE'S DADDY?"_

_Sans looked at his brother with certain shock, not expecting that he would ask that. Papyrus would usually be very distracted by the TV, but this time... maybe it was because he knew about their father's promise and was as eager as Sans._

_"i... i don't know, bro..." Sans said, his smile fading into a concerned expression. He sighed deeply, holding his little brother's small hand._

**_hopefully, somewhere safe._ **

* * *

Sans was having the same thought of when he was a kid... the same feeling of concern and fear, mutually present with that strange, rare feeling of...  _hope_.

Hope was a funny word for Sans. He hadn't had that feeling since... forever. He had no idea why it suddenly came back; maybe it was because... of the fact that his life had  _finally_  changed? He would usually have the fear of waking up trapped in the Underground again, but lately, he... he was finally at peace, specially after Frisk had saved Gaster from the Void. That kid cared so much about their new family and the peace between humans and monsters, they wouldn't throw any of that away for anything in the world.

Sans shook his head, realizing he had just spaced out for a while. Papyrus looked at him, hoping he would say anything else.

"look, pap, um..." Sans realized his eyes were slightly wet.  _god. am i... really crying again?_

"SANS...?"

"heh, sorry, i was just..." Sans dried his tears, yet smiling. "well, anyway, remember when you told me to stay calm when frisk left home to save dad? i'd say the same for you now. i know how you feel, pap, but... you gotta relax, okay? d... despite being a little afraid, i'm... i'm sure he's around. i know he wouldn't go very far."

Papyrus still looked sad, yet... he seemed calmer.

"everything will be okay." Sans assured him. "i... i know it will."

Papyrus nodded, but couldn't hold back the tears forming on his eyesockets. Sans immediately pulled him for a hug.

"S... S-S... SANS..." Papyrus stuttered, sobbing.

"shhh... it's ok, pap." Sans patted his back.

"B... B-BUT... B-BUT WHAT I-IF... WHAT IF S-SOMETHING H-HAPPENS, A-A-AND...?"

"papyrus, i... i swear nothing bad's gonna happen. it will  _never_  happen again, okay?"

Papyrus tightened his arms around Sans. The two remained hugging each other until Sans decided to let him go in order to find their father.

"c'mon, bro." Sans said, smiling sadly while drying some of Papyrus's tears. "let's find our old man."

Papyrus nodded, letting out a sad smile in return. The two finally switched places - Sans taking control of the car while Papyrus sat beside him. Though Sans was better at driving motorcycles, he had enough experience to drive a car, and had taken a driver's license anyway. Hopefully, he wouldn't lose control of the car again. If so, maybe he wouldn't fail at avoiding another accident like last time.

"we better check the nearest neighborhoods." Sans said.

He glanced at Papyrus, who just nodded in response. The tall skeleton, instead of looking at his brother, stared at the window. He was strangely silent. Even though he looked scared, Sans could notice the look of hope on his face this time.

 _i'll make sure a tragedy doesn't happen this time._ Sans thought, sadly thinking about Frisk and Gaster.

* * *

Silence.

...

...

But what could he say?

What was he even  _supposed_  to say?

Who would have anything to say when... when suddenly someone that similar to a person you knew long ago just... mysteriously shows up and is right in front of you?

Grillby was sure there was something wrong with the disgusting burger he had eaten at a human bar earlier with the Dogi. There had been something so... off with the taste. Now the food was taking effect; he was hallucinating! There was no possibility of... of  **him**  being right there, right in front of the fire monster.

"W..." Grillby started, but immediately returned to the silence, looking away.  _You're seeing things. He... he's **gone**._

He couldn't be real.

Yet...

He looked so familiar. He was white, had black eyes and white pupils (which had been purple once Grillby found him screaming and crying desesperately), wore a black overcoat slightly wet by the rain, black pants and shoes. What was even more astonishing...

... his hands.

Holed hands.

Grillby's gaze turned back to the man, who appeared to be shocked as well.

**_G... GRILLBY?_ **

That voice.

No. That... that wasn't happening.... he wasn't... he couldn't be...  **him** , right?

 ** _EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE, MY FRIEND._** That same voice spoke inside his mind.

_No... how... how is that-?_

Grillby's thoughts were interrupted by the rain, which gained force. The stranger was forced to move closer. Grillby's face suddenly became hotter than usual... He was too shocked and, somehow... awkward around him.

 ** _OH, I- I'M SORRY-_** The man said, stepping back to the rain, since Grillby's umbrella was too small for two people. He... he blushed, his cheeks becoming lightly purple.  ** _I DIDN'T MEAN TO-_**

Grillby gave him a signal that he shouldn't worry. Actually, they needed to get out of there. G... the man wasn't feeling alright (and neither was Grillby) and he needed to stay somewhere safe and warm. Besides, Grillby and rain didn't make a good combination at all. He could feel a few raindrops falling on him. It hurted a little.

 **_I..._** The man said, noticing the shock in Grillby's face. _**I-**_

"W... W-We better... go to my bar." The fire monster interrupted, immediately regretting, but they really needed to leave before the rain worsened. "It... it's better if you stay there for a while, at least t-to wait out this rain and..." He cleared his throat, giving the man another signal to follow him. "Come on."

The stranger nodded, moving closer again. The two barely fit in the umbrella and they were almost pressed together. They stayed quiet the whole time, Grillby not believing what was going on.

 _W.. What on earth is going on?_ Grillby thought.  _I... I can't... I can't believe this. This... T-This can't be happening, it- i-it can't be... **him**. It... _ ** _It can't be WingDing..._**

The way to Grillby's didn't take long, which was good. The bar was almost empty, only a few monsters were in there, eating some french fries. It was also warmer and it smelled like food. Grillby could hear the stranger sighing in relief once they arrived.

"Y... You can sit over there." The fire monster pointed at a seat.

The man almost said something, but he sat on it anyway.

"I- I have to do something-" Grillby said, immediately running to the fire exit before the other could say anything. He shutted the door behind him.

"H-How's that- How's that possible?!" He asked himself, though managing to keep his voice down.

Grillby sighed deeply. He was so... god, he couldn't even describe what he was feeling. What should he feel?

He didn't know much about... the _accident_ (Sans would never talk about it to him), but he did hear that the former Royal Scientist had been erased from existence and shattered across time and space.

That didn't make any sense.

Grillby slightly opened the door, finding the man looking around in confusion and... fear.

...

Despite looking quite familiar, the stranger... looked different. He had two long cracks on his head, like... like he had suffered something grave for his head to be injured like that. Not only that, but... there was also something about his eyes. Something deep, like... like he had been through a terrible experience. Grillby did record the man screaming at... something. He had been so terrified. Grillby had the strange feeling that... that he hadn't suffered a mere panic attack.

It was something deeper than that.

...

Perhaps...

Perhaps Grillby wasn't hallucinating at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will definitely have more than two chapters...
> 
> I'll probably take a while to update.


	3. Not Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay! School is making me pretty busy lately... ;-;  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Grillby had been gone for a while now... Gaster anxiously waited for him, wondering if he was okay. Well, probably not; the bartender looked very astonished and confused, he wouldn't even look at him. He couldn't blame him, obviously, but he was feeling a bit concerned. Grillby pretty much entered a fire exit and didn't come back for... quite a long time. But what could Gaster do? He didn't want to disrespect his privacy, so all he did during that time was to wait for Grillby to return (he knew that the fire monster would come out and talk to him sooner or later).

During the wait, Gaster couldn't help but think about something: he hadn't thought about Grillby after returning to the real world, which made him feel bad. The two of them had been inseparable friends, and the fact that Gaster hadn't let him know about anything was honestly cruel. Grillby had believed he was dead for all that time... The scientist was also sure that Sans hadn't told the bartender, either; not that he wouldn't tell anyone anything. Actually, Sans wasn't acting like that anymore. He wouldn't hide things like he had done before... so, the reason why he hadn't told Grillby would probably be the fact that everyone was focused on taking care of Frisk during their recovery - heck, even Sans stayed home rather than going to Grillby's in the last days just to keep an eyesocket on the human. However, Gaster still felt bad, since even Asgore got to know that he was back and Grillby didn't.

Besides that, Gaster was also feeling guilty for not actually... being grateful for Grillby's help. He wished he could have gone home on his own in order to face the darkness and overcome his fears, but he was too weak. He had to depend on others in order to face his fears. He wished he didn't. However, he really was feeling safer at Grillby's; well, any place would be better than outside, but the bar was warm and smelled good, even though Gaster wasn't very fond of greasy food. Though, in the past, he would only eat it at Grillby's so he could... see Grillby. And also because Sans had always loved greasy food and would often go there when he had been a little skeleton.

Gaster's attention was then drawn to the noise of an opening door which revealed Grillby. He... analyzed the scientist for a few seconds. Finally, he started walking in his direction. Gaster started feeling nervous somehow and looked away, gazing at the window. The rain fell smoothly on the glass, the fog blurring streetlights and the darkness... just standing there, watching him.

 ~~**_yOu ReaLLy tHouGHt iT wAs_** ** _OVER_**~~ A distorted voice spoke inside his mind out of nowhere.

 **YOU'RE NOT IN THE VOID ANYMORE, YOU... YOU'RE SAFE. YOU'RE OKAY.** Gaster thought, closing his eyes and taking deep breaths before freaking out again.

He heard footsteps approaching.

"W-Would you... like anything?" Grillby asked.

Gaster opened his eyes, giving a fast glance at the fire monster and a weak smile.

 ** _THANK YOU, BUT NOT FOR NOW._** He answered.

Grillby nodded, appearing to look around nervously. "Alright then..."

The two of them stayed silent for a while, neither of them knowing what to say. Grillby simply stood there, not even looking at Gaster, who cleared his throat and played with his hands nervously. For a second, the scientist feared they would melt again.

"W... WingDing..."

Gaster froze when he heard his name spoken by Grillby. His voice sounded... very shaky... like he was about to cry. He looked up, realizing that the bartender's flames were slowly becoming... blue. Gaster knew, for as long as he had known his friend, that Grillby wasn't feeling well; he didn't have to cry to show that (how could he, though? Could fire monsters _cry_?).

"I..." Grillby said quietly, finally sitting on the seat in front of Gaster, but not looking at him. "I-I... I c-can't believe it... i-is it... r-really... y-you...?"

Gaster looked at him in pain. He could feel his soul aching at the sight of Grillby looking so... heartbroken. It still amazed him, though, that others actually remembered him. The damage caused by the two accidents (the one that absorbed Gaster and the other that ended in his freedom) could have severely changed the timeline. He had thought that no one had memories of him, but... everyone did. Sans, Papyrus, Asgore... _Grillby_...

Gaster knew that Grillby's question didn't demand for an answer and he had the feeling that the fire monster was talking to himself, but he nodded anyway. Grillby did the same, the blue tone in his flames becoming more visible.

"I-I... I t-thought you..." He stuttered, sounding more and more shaky. "I thought y-you were... gone..."

Gaster sighed.  _ **I KNOW... EVERYONE DID.**_

"But... h-how d-did you- how a-are you... _alive_?"

The scientist stared at him for a few seconds before starting his explanation.

**_I CAN'T... EXPLAIN WHAT EXACTLY HAPPENED MYSELF. SOMEHOW, I DIDN'T... DIE WHEN THE MACHINE ABSORBED ME. I SHOULD HAVE SHATTERED IN THE IMPACT SINCE... SINCE TWO DISTINCT DIMENSIONS CRASHED ONTO ONE ANOTHER, BUT I... I SURVIVED. HOWEVER, I ENDED UP BEING TRAPPED... TRAPPED IN ANOTHER DIMENSION._ **

Grillby looked surprised now, yet still hurt. He didn't say anything, expecting that Gaster would continue.

 ** _THE DIMENSION IS CALLED THE VOID. IT WASN'T SOMETHING... CONCRETE AT THAT TIME, IT WAS ONLY PART OF THEORIES AND... A-ANYWAY, IT'S... IT'S DARK, EMPTY, LONELY... HOPELESS..._** Gaster continued, clenching his fists at the memory of his terrible experience. He then murmured:  ** _Y-YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I SUFFERED IN THERE. IT WAS WORSE THAN DEATH._**

He stayed quiet for a while before suddenly asking:

 ** _UM... ARE YOU... H-HAVING ANY TROUBLE TO UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING?_** Gaster feared that Grillby had literally no idea of what he was talking about. Not that he didn't know anything about science, but portals and dimensions were quite confusing to be explained well... regardless of their complexity, Grillby shook his head, not looking confused at all, just... shocked.

 **_WELL THEN..._ ** **_UM, THIS IS KIND OF HARD TO EXPLAIN, BUT... EVEN THOUGH I WAS STUCK IN ANOTHER DIMENSION, I WAS ABLE TO TRANSPORT MYSELF TO THE REAL WORLD, BUT NOBODY COULD SEE OR HEAR ME. AFTER HEARING ABOUT MONSTERS FINALLY GOING TO THE SURFACE, I... I CAME HERE TO SEE HOW SANS AND PAPYRUS WERE DOING, AND ALSO B-BECAUSE... I PROMISED, LONG AGO, THAT I WOULD ALWAYS BE THERE FOR THEM. BUT THEN... I MET FRISK._ **

"Frisk? The human... who saved us all?" Grillby asked quietly, Gaster almost couldn't hear.

The scientist nodded.  ** _FRISK WAS ABLE TO SEE ME, EVEN THOUGH I WASN'T... REAL. I CAN'T GET MYSELF TO EXPLAIN HOW AND NEITHER CAN THEY. ANYWAY, WE STARTED BEING FRIENDS AND THEY... THEY ALMOST SACRIFICED THEMSELF TO SAVE ME._**

Grillby leaned in a little, showing interest.

 **_APPARENTLY, SANS KEPT MY MACHINE HIDDEN AND MANAGED TO FIX IT A LONG TIME AGO, BUT HE DIDN'T SUCCEED. FRISK WAS DETERMINED TO SAVE ME AND... AFTER FINDING THE MACHINE, THEY TOOK IT TO DOCTOR ALPHYS, THE OTHER ROYAL SCIENTIST, WHO WAS ABLE TO REBUILD MY EXPERIMENT. THEN, FRISK RESCUED ME FROM THE VOID._  **Gaster then held his own hands, looking away. ** _WELL, A-ALTHOUGH THEIR PLAN ON SAVING ME ENDED DRASTICALLY A-AND ALMOST... TRAGICALLY, FRISK AND I MADE IT. FINALLY, AFTER EVERYTHING, I REUNITED WITH SANS AND PAPYRUS AND NOW I'M LIVING WITH THEM._**

Gaster heard nothing from Grillby. He looked at him; the bartender was speechless, his expression unreadable. Gaster sighed.

 ** _I'M SORRY FOR NOT LETTING YOU KNOW..._** He said  ** _FRISK IS STILL RECOVERING FROM A SURGERY AND... I STAYED HOME TO TAKE CARE OF THEM IN THE LAST DAYS, SO..._**

Gaster didn't finish the sentence, instead preferring to stay silent rather than saying something else. Grillby pretty much did the same. He was obviously too shocked to even say something. Gaster ended up looking at the window again. He felt something bad inside his chest.

The darkness watched him... outside was darker than the last time he checked. He wasn't liking that at all.

~~**_You cannot escape._ ** ~~

Gaster started sweating all of a sudden, feeling terrible chills. The darkness was becoming **_darker and darker_** again, and he felt himself getting colder.

~~**_You belong to the Void._ ** ~~

Gaster swore he could hear... _laughter_. 

 **OH GOD, NOT AGAIN- NOT AGAIN, PLEASE, L-LEAVE ME ALONE, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS ANYMORE-** He thought, uneasy.

~~**_IDIOT_ ** ~~

~~**_USELESS_ ** ~~

~~**_GARBAGE_ ** ~~

~~~~Gaster lost his breath, he sweated like crazy and his eyes were about to flame out of fear again. It looked like the darkness was going to get him, to suck him back to the Void, to trap him in that space of despair and emptiness for the rest of his life-

...

Then something happened.

Gaster suddenly felt something warm. Grillby's flamish hands were... _holding_ his holed, shaky ones. The scientist stared at their hands, taking a while to realize what was going on. Soon, his cheeks warmed a little. For a second, Grillby looked a bit surprised by touching Gaster's hand, like he couldn't believe that he could feel it. However, Grillby put his thoughts aside in order to help Gaster.

"Hey..." His calm, yet concerned, voice asked. "What's wrong?"

Gaster sniffled, just then realizing that he was about to cry.

 ** _I..._** He didn't know how to begin in the first place. Telling Grillby about the Void was already challenging, how could he explain the fact that the darkness was haunting and chasing him, leaving the impression that his life was nothing but an illusion and that he was probably still a prisoner?

Grillby looked at the window, not seeming to find anything odd about it, besides the weather.

"W... What are you afraid of?" He asked.

Gaster sighed deeply. He was a bit nervous to face Grillby and too afraid to look at the darkness outside again. Despite still being scared, he was slowly feeling safer thanks to Grillby's warm hands.

 ** _IT'S... I-IT'S HARD TO UNDERSTAND._** He admitted.  ** _I... I CAN'T REALLY EXPLAIN, BUT..._**

**_... I-I FEEL LIKE... LIKE I'M STILL THERE._ **

"How come?" Grillby asked, sounding surprised.

**_IT'S... I-IT'S STRANGE, BUT... SOMETIMES I FEEL... I-I FEEL THAT... THE DARKNESS IS C-CHASING ME. I'M ABLE TO HEAR... V-V-VOICES. DISTORTED, CREEPY VOICES TELLING ME HORRIFYING THINGS... I C-CAN SEE THE D-DARKNESS SUCKING EVERYTHING INTO ITS EMPTINESS A-AND... AND I CAN SEE... MANY THINGS. T-THINGS LIKE... ACTUALLY, I CAN'T EXACTLY TELL WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS. YET... T-THEY ARE DISFIGURED, MELTED FIGURES... T... THEY L-LAUGH AT ME, A-A-AND... I JUST..._ **

The fire monster didn't say anything. Gaster couldn't look at him while remembering the things he would see, hear or... _feel_.

**_IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE, B-BUT... I FEEL LIKE... I'M NOT ACTUALLY H-HERE. I FEEL LIKE NONE OF THIS, NOTHING T-THAT HAPPENED IN THE LAST DAYS IS... REAL. I K-KEEP WONDERING IF MY LIFE IS J-JUST... A MERE ILLUSION..._ **

Gaster held his tears, his hands tightening Grillby's for a second.

**_I... I-I C-CAN'T... I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY THIS STILL HAPPENS, I... I DON'T KNOW IF I-I'M CRAZY, OR... O-OR I'M STILL TRAPPED IN THERE... I CAN'T TELL WHAT'S ACTUALLY HAPPENING._**

He closed his eyes, not wanting to look at anything anymore.

 ** _I... I-I'M TRYING TO OVERCOME THESE THOUGHTS, B-BUT... I-IT JUST FEELS SO REAL, SOMETIMES I CAN'T EVEN TELL I-IF THESE ARE... HALLUCINATIONS O-OR..._** A tear rolled down his face and he wasn't able to stop more from falling.  ** _I-I... I JUST DON'T KNOW. A-A-AND... N-NOBODY UNDERSTANDS, I... I-I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO._**

He heard a deep sigh coming from Grillby.

"Look... I understand how terrified you are. I mean, it's... it's not something... unexpected, actually." The fire monster said. "Somehow, it makes sense why this happens. You just came back from a... terrible and empty place. But I'm telling you..."

Gaster sniffled and looked back at him.

"You are real." Grillby said. "This is not an hallucination, or an illusion. You _are_ here. You're not in the Void. You're free and you will **never** go back in there again. You're home now."

He tightened the grip on Gaster's hands a little, making the latter feel his cheeks getting a little warmer than before.

"The darkness can't harm you." Grillby said. "Nothing can harm you now, and your family and friends will make sure it won't hurt you again."

Gaster remained silent, not knowing what to say or... react. He hadn't expected that someone would somehow... understand. Grillby didn't know how the Void was like, but he was willing to help him, no matter how complex the whole situation was.

"You're not alone in this." Grillby assured him. "I know how it is, Dings. I know how hard it must be for fighting against something you don't expect anyone to understand, but... you don't have to do this alone. People may not... know exactly how was your experience at the Void, but they will do anything to help you. I'm sure your family and friends wouldn't let you suffer like that."

Gaster's eyes widened a little at the realization. Perhaps... he was right. He had talked to Frisk about how lonely the Void was and, despite not knowing how it was like, the child... would listen to them and they would try to make him feel better. Heck, Frisk had saved him from the Void. Gaster honestly couldn't thank them enough for doing such a brave and amazing, yet dangerous, thing.

Sans and Papyrus were always there for him, even if he had distanced himself from them in the past. They would comfort him when he had nightmares. Even though he wouldn't always tell them what happened in those dreams, they would still make him feel better.

Even Toriel would comfort him, too, even though the two of them weren't exactly close. Gaster had been closer to Asgore rather than her, but she still cared about him.

However...

Gaster just... hated being a burden. They were already doing so much for him, he didn't want to worry them even more.

 ** _I... I D-DON'T WANT... TO DEPEND ON ANYONE._** He admitted.  ** _I JUST WISH... I-I COULD BE HAPPY ALREADY._**

Grillby sighed. "It's okay to ask for help, Dings, even if you were taught to... do everything on your own. I mean, you can't suffer like that. It's _really_ messing you up... no one would want that for you. Besides, recovery takes time, it's not something that simple, and that's alright."

Gaster stayed quiet after that, thinking about his words and actually... taking them into consideration.

He had indeed been taught to deal with his own problems alone. During his whole life, Gaster hadn't actually asked for help, specially after his wife's... _fall_. Not that he wouldn't tell anyone anything, but he wouldn't really ask for help, not even at work, which was why he would spend most of his time at his own laboratory, where no one could enter it, except in an emergency. He had had assistants, but they wouldn't always be there to help him because Gaster had had a preference for working alone.

His wife had warned him about such behaviour. They had fought quite a lot because of that. Gaster wouldn't tell her what was upsetting him because... he always thought he had to be strong.

Gaster had had a great responsibility as the Royal Scientist. He needed to be strong and careful, he had been forced to work for several hours, days, _weeks_ \- nonstop, basically. He had been willing to do everything to give all monsters the best conditions to live in the Underground while he searched for a way to break the barrier.

He hadn't had time to think about his own problems... and he had been okay with it.

As long as monsters still lived in good conditions and he progressed even more in his experiments...

No matter how exhausted he would feel...

... it would've been worth it.

Even if Sans and Papyrus wouldn't see him more often or if he had gotten injured during work.

Of course, this behaviour was something quite bad. His wife had suffered with his absence at home and, although Gaster truly loved his sons (considering the fact that he was doing so many things **specially** to his family), he hadn't thought about actually spending more time with them. Sans and Papyrus knew that he cared about them, but good life conditions wasn't enough. They needed _love_. Gaster hadn't given them enough. He should have been better for them.

He knew he couldn't change the past and he was doing his best to let Sans and Papyrus know how much he loved them, but he still regretted.

Because he could have been better.

And now...

... Gaster was still hiding things from them. They didn't know the real anguishes bottled up inside his chest. They had no idea of how terrified he felt about the Void chasing him. They simply had no idea. And... they loved him so much. They really worried about him and they just... wanted to help him with whatever he was fighting against. Not only them, but also Frisk and the others.

... He was doing the exact thing he was trying to avoid ever since he returned.

 **N... NO... H-HOW... HOW CAN I BE SO _STUPID_? ** Gaster thought during his moment of realization.  **HOW CAN I STILL DO THIS AFTER... A-AFTER EVERYTHING THEY HAVE DONE FOR ME?**

Gaster wished he could punch himself; well, he could... but he didn't want to do that in front of Grillby. In any case, he felt really stupid.

 _He really was an idiot_.

 ** _I... I'M SORRY._** Gaster said, not apologizing to Grillby only, but also to his sons, Frisk, Toriel, Asgore... _his wife_...  ** _I'M SO SORRY, I- I'M SO STUPID-_**

"Hey, hey..." Grillby interrupted. "It's not your fault. I understand how hard it must be for you, Dings. I'm sure everyone else understands, too. You just... need to trust this, okay?"

Gaster took a while to respond with a nod.

 ** _O... OKAY._** He said, finally.  ** _I... I'LL TRY._**

Grillby finally smiled, yet Gaster could notice the subtle sadness on it.

" _We_ will always be here for you." He said. "Don't forget."

**_Don't forget._ **

Gaster was sure he wouldn't ever forget those simple, yet powerful words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's still going to be one more chapter! (... probably)


	4. Almost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERE IT IS!!  
> I'm deeply sorry for the delay! I was stuck in a writer block for a few weeks, but now I'm back :'v  
> I also had to rewrite this many times because I wasn't satisfied with the result :///
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter!

There was nothing more upsetting than seeing Gaster suffer so much like that, specially when he would distance himself from the ones who cared about him. It would always hurt Grillby, honestly; Gaster had dealt with several issues and would never show anyone how upset he was inside back then. But now... it was far more depressing when Grillby stopped to think about it.

Gaster became _severely_ traumatized by the Void. The lonely years he had spent inside that dark dimension had drastically changed him. Now, the scientist saw himself as nothing but a burden to his family and friends and would be extremely frightened by the night. Grillby couldn't even imagine how it was to be a prisoner of the Void. Maybe he shouldn't even try.

Grillby couldn't blame him. He was probably one of the people that knew better than anyone else how a bad experience could mess with someone, maybe even... forever. Sometimes it had no turning back.

...

The elemental sighed at that thought, remembering the difficult times he had been through himself a long time ago. Like Gaster, bad memories of a tragic chapter of his life would haunt him now and then... well, actually, not only _one_ chapter. Although life was that way (bad things would always happen, no matter what happened) there were at least three things Grillby would never forget and would still hurt him...

He would still have flashbacks of the deaths he had witnessed back in the War of Humans and Monsters, still remember the monsters getting slaughtered by the humans and also when his life had almost ended during the battle. Honestly, Grillby had had a hard time trying to live among humans because of the war after he went to the surface. But he soon came to learn that not all of them were bad; they were being very nice to monsters now, actually.

His wife had abandoned him, leaving only him and his daughter. Grillby hadn't believed in love for years... but suddenly, someone changed his life forever, even... making him fall in love again. But then... the report of that person's death had come to him like... a stab in the chest.

Life had been hard for him, but thankfully, the elemental came to learn how to cope with these bad experiences. He wouldn't let them affect him to the point of giving up.

But it would still hurt. A lot.

And the fact that Gaster was going through the same thing was honestly heartbreaking. Grillby could already see the changes the Void had done to the sad scientist. He wouldn't ever be the same after that.

Grillby wouldn't let him suffer like that anymore. He wouldn't let anything hurt him anymore.

He would make sure of that.

...

Despite feeling calmer than before, Gaster still looked very sad. He wouldn't look at Grillby anymore, instead choosing to face the window. Though, he wouldn't let go of his hands... Still, the fire monster could see regret in his eyes.

 _ **I... I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW STUPID I AM.**_ Gaster murmured, appearing to be talking to himself.  ** _I DIDN'T EVEN TRY SEEKING FOR HELP._**

Grillby looked at him, heartbroken, but Gaster let out a deep breath and said a bit louder, sounding more... confident:

**_BUT I WON'T MAKE THIS MISTAKE EVER AGAIN._ **

The elemental offered him a sad smile, even though Gaster didn't face him. Grillby looked at their hands and he tightened the grip a little more, making the other look at him in surprise. The two monsters were finally having eye contact. They would be saying tons of words by just looking at each other... but they chose to remain silent. Neither of them knew exactly what to say next. After all, the whole situation was pretty odd. Grillby was still shocked, to say the least...

Grillby let out a sigh, looking away for a second before encountering Gaster's eyes again. The scientist looked far more relaxed than before, though still showing some sadness, which made Grillby feel slightly better about this.

The comfortable moment of silence was soon interrupted by the sound of Gaster clearing his throat.

 ** _ERM... GRILLBY?_** He called the fire monster, who was distracted while looking at him.

Grillby blinked a few times, realizing that he was talking to him.

"Oh, uh, yes?" He said.

Gaster looked away nervously, his cheeks becoming lightly purple.

 ** _T... T-THERE'S SOMETHING I WOULD LIKE TO SAY._** He said.

"What is it?"

Gaster looked more nervous now, the purple becoming more visible. Grillby looked at him in confusion, not knowing why he was like that.

 ** _I... I-I NEVER GOT TO TELL YOU..._** He started.  ** _T-THAT... UM..._**

He let out a deep sigh.

 ** _Y... YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME._** He said, finally.  ** _N-NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENED, YOU NEVER... ABANDONED ME. A-AND... I NEVER... GOT TO THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU DID FOR ME._**

Grillby felt himself getting hotter for some reason. Maybe it was because of the way Gaster looked at him at that moment...

 ** _Y-YOU... YOU ARE REALLY I-IMPORTANT TO ME, GRILLBY._** He said.  ** _A-AND I'M SORRY FOR NOT LETTING YOU KNOW HOW... H-HOW GLAD I AM TO HAVE YOU._**

Gaster's finger rubbed Grillby's hand gently.

 ** _I WAS SO UNGRATEFUL TO YOU._** He said.  ** _T... T-TO EVERYONE I KNEW, ACTUALLY. AND ONLY A-AFTER BEING STUCK IN THE VOID, I REALIZED HOW STUPID I ACTED TO THE PEOPLE WHO LOVED ME T-THIS WHOLE TIME._**

He sniffled, tears threatening to fall. However... Gaster _smiled_. It was a genuine smile.

 ** _T-THANK YOU, GRILLBY._** He said, sobbing a little.  _ **THANK YOU... F-FOR EVERYTHING.**_

Grillby didn't know what to say in response.

 ** _I'M SO SORRY FOR NOT LETTING YOU KNOW THAT SOONER._** Gaster repeated, his smile fading.

"WingDing..." Grillby said quietly while the scientist began to cry more.

Gaster let go of his hands in order to cover his wet face. Grillby could feel his chest aching at that sight.

"H-Hey... it's... it's okay." He said, trying to make him feel better. But it didn't seem to work.

 ** _I'M SORRY..._** Gaster repeated these words, over and over, until his voice became a whisper.

Grillby sighed deeply, trying to contain tears himself. How could Gaster hate himself? He wasn't perfect - nobody was -, but he still mattered a lot to Grillby, Sans, Papyrus... they could never hate him.

"Please..." Grillby said. "Please, look at me."

He was a little hesitant first, but his flamish hands reached Gaster's face, pulling his arms away lightly so he could see his face. Purple tears rolled down the left crack on his head.

"We all make mistakes." Grillby said. "You are not terrible for that."

Gaster wouldn't face him, instead looking down. Grillby's hands touched his face, pulling him a little closer.

"You are _not_ stupid." He said. "Regardless of any mistakes you have made, you are still great."

Gaster sniffled.  ** _B-BUT... I-I WAS..._**

"Shhh, it's okay."

Grillby's warm hands dried Gaster's tears. The scientist appeared to be calmer now, as he stopped sobbing and attempted to breathe right.

"It's okay." Grillby whispered, smiling sadly at him. "Everything is alright now."

Gaster sniffled again and breathed heavily, Grillby not letting go of his face. The elemental ended up... passing his hands over the crack coming from Gaster's left eye. The pain of losing him suddenly showed up again, which made Grillby almost cry by just remembering the day when one of Gaster's assistants went to his house to give him the tragic news of the scientist's accident.

"Thank goodness you're back." He whispered, letting out a laugh, though close to break down in front of Gaster.

Their foreheads lightly touched each other. The two stayed in the same positions for what it felt like forever, silence filling the air again. Grillby simply stared at Gaster, who wouldn't face the other during that time. Soon enough, Gaster stopped crying and... appeared to feel better. He let out a deep sigh, his hand hesitantly reaching Grillby's, which was still touching his face.

 ** _T-THANK YOU... AGAIN..._** He said quietly.

Grillby smiled sadly. Gaster's eyes encountered his and they stared at each other in silence for a long time.

Finally, the elemental let out a deep breath and... he decided to tell him something. Something he should have done a long time ago.

He opened his mouth...

...

But then, Gaster's eyes widened and he quickly pushed him away.

"W-What-?"

**_W-WAIT- M-MY PHONE IS VIBRATING-_ **

Gaster picked his cell phone and looked at the screen with a shocked and sad face.

*

Papyrus was calling.

Gaster looked at the time with disbelief.

It was... almost 11:00 PM.

He... He should have been home by that time.

 **OH NO...** Gaster thought.  **OH MY GOD- I-I'VE BEEN GONE FOR HOURS, T-THEY ARE PROBABLY LOOKING FOR ME THIS ENTIRE TIME AND I-I JUST- I DID THAT AGAIN!**

He stared at the phone screen, which contained a photo of Papyrus smiling. Seconds passed, and the phone stopped vibrating. Soon, Gaster was able to see several lost calls from Papyrus, Sans, Toriel, Asgore and... even Frisk. By several, that meant... a great number of lost calls.

 **OH MY GOD- H-HOW COULD I HAVE DONE THIS TO THEM _AGAIN_? ** Gaster thought, wanting to cry again.  **I-I'M SO STUPID-**

...

No.

He would be no good if he just felt bad for his mistake. He wouldn't just stare at the screen and do nothing.

_He wouldn't do that again._

Grillby looked at him in certain confusion and was about to ask him what was going on, but Gaster gave him a signal to wait a little. Finally, the latter dialed Papyrus's number.

Ring... Ring...

...

"DAD!!!!!!!!"

Papyrus screamed so loudly that it startled Gaster, almost making him drop his cell phone. He started yelling several things so fast that the scientist couldn't understand what he was saying at first.

"OH MY GOODNESS!!! I LOST COUNT OF HOW MANY TIMES I CALLED!! WHERE ARE YOU?! ARE YOU OKAY?! ARE YOU-" Papyrus sounded so happy, yet so... desesperate.

 ** _PAPYRUS, B-BREATHE. I... I'M SORRY, MY PHONE W-WAS OUT OF RECEPTION AND THE SILENT MODE WAS ON AND-_** Gaster sighed.  ** _I'M FINE, REALLY. I... I'M AT GRILLBY'S RIGHT NOW._**

"OH, THANK GOD!!" Papyrus said, sounding like he was about to cry. "ME AND SANS ARE ON OUR WAY!"

"holy crap-" Sans's voice could be heard. He also sounded shocked. "t-thank god he's okay-"

 ** _GOOD TO KNOW. I'LL BE WAITING HERE._** Gaster told Papyrus.

"O-OKAY! SEE YOU SOON!!"

Papyrus hung up. As soon as the conversation ended, Gaster groaned lightly. He soon looked at Grillby once again.

 ** _S-SANS AND PAPYRUS WERE LOOKING FOR ME... I'VE BEEN GONE FOR A LONG TIME._** He said.  ** _AFTER GOING TO ASGORE'S, I-I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HOME ALREADY, BUT..._**

Gaster didn't feel the need to finish, as Grillby knew the rest of the story.

"I see..." The fire monster said, nodding.

The two looked around nervously. Gaster then looked at the window. The rain appeared to have gotten weaker; there was nothing but a mere drizzle wetting the asphalt. The streetlights iluminated parked cars and buildings. There was nobody outside. Gaster then noticed that the group of monsters he had seen when he arrived at the bar was still there. They didn't really... appear to notice him and Grillby sitting together. Well, not that it would matter anyway.

Grillby was the nervous one now, though. He played with his own hands, simply looking around. Gaster didn't know what to say, so he stared at the table in silence.

It didn't take long for both Grillby and Gaster to hear a loud noise of a car coming from outside. They looked at the window. Gaster soon recognized Toriel's car and the two figures that came out of it. Papyrus saw his father and quickly ran to the bar. With that, loud footsteps were heard from the door, which startled the group of monsters a bit. Papyrus opened the door with force, making a loud noise. He gasped.

"DAD!!!" He said, forming a wide smile.

Gaster stood up and, before he could do anything else, Papyrus jumped to hug him and they both fell on the wooden floor.

"YOU'RE OKAY!" He said, sniffling.

Though feeling his body parts aching due to the fall, Gaster smiled. He wrapped his arms around Papyrus tightly.

 ** _OH SON... I-I'M SO SORRY..._** He said.

"dad!" Sans said. "there you are, old man."

Papyrus let go of Gaster and helped him as soon as he heard his brother. Sans seemed very relieved and happy, his grin widening a little.

"you really shouldn't put your phone on silent mode, ya goof." Sans frowned a little.

Gaster sighed.  ** _I KNOW... I-I'M SORRY FOR WORRYING YOU SO MUCH. M-MY PHONE WAS OUT OF RECEPTION AND I COULDN'T CALL YOU._**

"WHAT MATTERS IS THAT YOU'RE OKAY!" Papyrus said with a smile.

The young skeleton looked behind Gaster and waved. "OH, HELLO, GRILLBY!"

Gaster only then noticed Grillby standing behind him. The fire monster smiled at the young skeleton.

"Hello." He said.

"DID YOU TWO TALK?"

Both Gaster and Grillby nodded at Papyrus's question. Sans's eyes suddenly widened and he approached Grillby.

"oh man... i didn't tell you about him returning, right?" He said to the elemental, appearing to be regretful. "sorry grillbz, i- look, i-it's a long story and i had to stay home these days and-"

"It's alright, Sans. Your father told me."

"well, okay... but still, should've told ya before. you guys are best buddies and..."

Grillby gave him a signal for him to stop apologizing, leading Sans to smile in relief.

"WELL THEN! WE SHALL GO HOME NOW! SORRY FOR INTERRUPTING YOUR TIME, BUT IT'S PRETTY LATE ALREADY... FRISK AND LADY TORIEL AWAIT!" Papyrus said after a few seconds of silence passed.

 ** _YES, YOU'RE RIGHT._** Gaster said, while Grillby nodded.

"OFF WE GO THEN!" Papyrus said.

Before walking away, though, he turned to Grillby.

"WELL, UM... THANK YOU FOR KEEPING HIM COMPANY, GRILLBY!" Papyrus said. "I'M GLAD TO KNOW HE WASN'T ALONE THIS WHOLE TIME!"

"You're welcome." Grillby answered with a smile.

"c'mon, dad." Sans patted Gaster's back.

The skeleton brothers walked away before their father, who walked slowly. They opened the door and went outside already. Gaster didn't leave the bar, though, instead looking at the dark street with certain fear. But soon, Grillby put his warm hand on Gaster's shoulder.

"Hey, you alright?" He asked.

**_YES, I'M... JUST THINKING._ **

They looked at each other for a brief second and then they watched the drizzle falling on Toriel's car. Sans and Papyrus were adjusting something inside the car and spoke something that Gaster couldn't really understand.

 ** _WELL, I... I BETTER... GET GOING._** He said.

"Yeah..." Grillby looked... sad. Gaster didn't feel like he should ask what was on his mind, though.

Although he wanted to go home, the scientist didn't... want to go, either. He wanted to stay with Grillby a little more. Gaster wasn't exactly in a rush to leave.

 ** _AGAIN, THANK YOU SO MUCH._** He said.  ** _YOU REALLY HELPED ME._**

Grillby smiled sadly. "No problem, my friend."

They smiled at each other for a while... until Papyrus called his father.

"DAD? AREN'T YOU COMING??" He asked.

**_YES! JUST GIVE ME A SECOND._ **

Gaster faced Grillby again.

**_SO..._ **

"So..."

_**WELL THEN... I GUESS... THAT'S IT.** _

Grillby nodded. A few more seconds passed until he decided to... hug Gaster. He was a little hesitant to do so. The scientist was a bit surprised, but he returned the hug.

"Take care." The fire monster said, tightening his arms around him.

**_I'LL COME HERE AFTER FRISK RECOVERS FROM THE SURGERY._ **

"You better."

Gaster chuckled.  ** _PROMISE._**

It took a while for Grillby to let him go... Gaster didn't want him to. But eventually, he had to go home anyway.

 ** _GOODBYE, GRILLBY._** He said.

"See you around, WingDing."

Gaster smiled and finally stepped on the wet sidewalk. He took a deep breath as he realized he was walking in the street at night.

 **IT'S OKAY.** He thought to himself.

He... actually made it. He didn't have that feeling of something in the darkness watching him as he walked in the car's direction. Sans and Papyrus watched him from inside, their windows opened.

Gaster entered the car and the "font" family finally drove back home. During the trip, he stared at the window and listened to the calm jazz song playing in the radio. Papyrus started talking to Sans, but he didn't really pay attention. Instead... he thought about the time he had with Grillby.

He had been... so close.

He had almost... revealed something he never thought he would ever take it off his chest.

Something... he thought it was gone by now.

Gaster didn't know if he had been about to make a mistake or... if he had been close of doing the right thing.

He didn't want to bottle up his feelings anymore. He promised himself he would never do that again.

However...

... how was he supposed to tell... _that_ to Grillby...?

Gaster sighed, wanting to avoid that thought. Well, Papyrus started calling him and his attention was drawn back to his sons.

"DAD? I'VE BEEN CALLING YOU FOR A WHILE, IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG?" He asked, worried.

Gaster took a while to reply.

 ** _L... LOOK, I-IT'S A LONG STORY._** He admitted.  ** _C... CAN WE TALK WHEN WE GET HOME?_**

"WELL, SURE!"

Sans glanced at Gaster with a suspicious look while he drove the car, but didn't say anything. Gaster smiled sadly at them and his gaze returned to the window.

* * *

It took only a few minutes for them to arrive, as Grillby's wasn't that far from home. Gaster was welcomed by a tight hug from Frisk, who ran like crazy when they saw him. Toriel was glad to see him, but she became worried for the child's well being, as they weren't supposed to run that fast.

"Frisk, be careful." She said.

"I'm okay, mom! Specially now that he's back." Frisk smiled at him.

**_IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO, FRISK._ **

"Where have you been?" The child asked.

"he was at grillby's."

"Grillby's?" Toriel asked.

**_YEAH, WELL... I'M GRILLBY'S FRIEND._ **

"Oh really? I didn't know you knew each other." Frisk said.

Gaster sighed and he sat on the sofa when Frisk released him. He faced them all, who had worried expressions as they noticed his behaviour.

 ** _I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING._** He said.

He felt a bit hesitant to tell them what had happened for him to not return home any sooner, but... they were his family. They had the right to know.

 ** _W-WELL... ABOUT... N-NOT RETURNING HOME EARLIER, UM..._** He started.  _ **I MUST CONFESS SOMETHING.**_

_**IT WAS ALREADY GETTING DARK WHEN I LEFT ASGORE'S, AND... I BECAME AFRAID. HOWEVER... I... I-I DIDN'T WANT TO... DEPEND ON ANYONE, AND... I FEEL SAFER HERE DURING THE NIGHTTIME. THUS, I... I LEFT HIS HOUSE BY MYSELF. I JUST WANTED TO GET OVER MY FEAR.** _

His family looked worried and somehow surprised at that, but they let him continue.

 ** _THEN... I... I GOT LOST. I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE TO GO, I DIDN'T REMEMBER WHERE ASGORE'S HOUSE WAS AND... T-THEN I HAD ANOTHER HALLUCINATION AND I T-THOUGHT... I WAS BACK THERE. A-AGAIN._** Gaster said, feeling bad chills as he remembered the panic attack he had suffered.  ** _BUT THANKFULLY, GRILLBY FOUND ME AND HE TOOK ME TO HIS BAR SO I COULD CALM DOWN._**

**_I'M... I'M SORRY FOR NOT LETTING YOU KNOW. I WANTED TO BE STRONG, BUT... I GUESS I'M... NOT._ **

"DAD..." Papyrus said sadly.

"Hey, it's okay." Frisk said. "It's okay to be scared. You shouldn't... think that way. We're all here for you."

They sat on his lap and gave him a hug. Gaster sighed and returned it.

 ** _I KNOW. I JUST... I'M SORRY._** He said.

"don't be afraid of asking for help, okay?" Sans said. "if it's messing you up, you shouldn't hide. believe me, it's not good for you."

**_YES, I... I WON'T DO THIS AGAIN._ **

Gaster looked sadly at his sons and Toriel while Frisk hugged him tightly.

 ** _I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH._** He said.

"AW DAD, WE LOVE YOU TOO!"

Sans, Papyrus and Toriel joined the hug. Gaster had never felt so happy before. He almost cried out of joy again.

* * *

The family finally had some dinner. The time was not a big deal for them, as Frisk didn't have school and Toriel would stay home in order to take care of them.

Eventually, Frisk went to bed as they were sleepy. Toriel took them to bed and left Gaster, Sans and Papyrus alone in the kitchen. The brothers were teasing each other like always while Gaster was... distracted.

He... couldn't get Grillby off his mind.

He hadn't had the courage to tell them about what he felt for the bartender.

Not because he feared they would judge him. Heck, he knew they wouldn't.

But he... he _still_ couldn't understand why... he felt that way for someone like Grillby; Someone older than him...  and why would he want to be with someone like Gaster, anyway?

Gaster was lost in his thoughts again. Sans shook him a little bit to call his attention, which startled him a little.

"hey dad? man, you're acting like a star; you're _spacing_ out." The skeleton said. Papyrus groaned in protest.

**_OH, I- I'M SORRY. I WAS... DISTRACTED OVER SOME... SILLY THINGS._ **

"IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG? YOU LOOK NERVOUS..."

Gaster cleared his throat and felt his cheeks getting warmer.

 **OH DEAR, SHOULD I... TELL THEM?** He thought.  **I MEAN... I-I DON'T KNOW IF THEY WOULD...**

He took a deep breath.  **NO, T-THEY ARE MY SONS. I'M NOT... HIDING MY FEELINGS FROM THEM AGAIN.**

Still, he was hesitant to reveal such feelings; he wasn't sure if they had an idea, anyway. When Gaster had feelings for someone, it could be... pretty obvious. What if they noticed from how he and Grillby had interacted before he entered Toriel's car?

In any case, he still tried.

 ** _WELL, YOU SEE..._** He gulped.  ** _I'M HAVING SOME... C-COMPLICATED FEELINGS FOR... SOMEONE._**

"OH, REALLY?" Papyrus seemed a bit surprised. Sans, on the other hand... not really.

 ** _YES, UM..._** Gaster started sweating a little.  ** _I-IT'S SOMEONE... UNEXPECTED A-AND..._**

"WHO'S IT?"

**_UH..._ **

Sans looked like he knew exactly who Gaster was talking about.

"so ya found the _light_ of your life?" He asked with a grin on his face.

Gaster's face flushed purple, groaning loudly.

 ** _DON'T._** He hissed.

"WAIT... LIGHT...?" Papyrus tried to get the joke.

"yea, ya know... an old flame." Sans winked.

Papyrus didn't take long to get who it was. He glared at Sans but his expression quickly changed as he faced his father, who felt very embarrassed.

"SO YOU... LIKE HIM... THAT WAY?" Papyrus asked, just to make it sure.

Gaster nodded, sighing.

 ** _I WISH... I-I WISH I DIDN'T FEEL THAT WAY._** He said.  ** _I-I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY I FEEL THIS..._**

"hey c'mon, don't feel bad."

"LOVE IS SOMETHING UNEXPECTED INDEED... BUT IT'S NORMAL, REALLY!"

"yea, it happens to the best of us."

**_BUT... I DON'T KNOW H-HOW... HE WOULD REACT. AND I-I DON'T KNOW WHY HE WOULD WANT TO BE WITH SOMEONE LIKE ME._ **

"dad." Sans said, serious. " _tibia_ honest, i think grillby really likes you. i mean, really; i noticed how you guys acted around each other. i bet he feels something for ya, too."

Gaster sighed.  ** _I... I-I REALLY DON'T KNOW ANYMORE._**

"HEY, I CAN CONFIRM WHAT SANS SAID!" Papyrus said.

**_B-BUT WHAT IF HIS BEHAVIOUR DOESN'T M-MEAN ANYTHING AT ALL?_ **

"dad, i think it was pretty obvious."

Gaster still doubted. He did trust his sons; they wouldn't lie to him, but... he didn't want to get his hopes up. It would always lead to something bad. He didn't want to think something and then get disappointed in the end.

Gaster sighed.  ** _I... I JUST DON'T KNOW._**

Sans and Papyrus didn't protest. Instead, they stayed there in silence, looking at their father with concern.

In the end, they gave him a hug. They didn't say anything to him, and neither did he.

Gaster did feel better about it, though.

* * *

"ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO SLEEP IN OUR ROOM?"

**_YES. REALLY, THE COUCH IS FINE. IT'S VERY COMFORTABLE._ **

Gaster still slept on the couch, even days after he returned. Papyrus would still insist that he would feel more comfortable at their room, but he knew there wouldn't be much space for the three of them in the brothers' room. Gaster really was fine sleeping on the couch.

"WELL, IF YOU NEED ANYTHING, YOU CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON US!" Papyrus assured him.

Gaster smiled.  _ **I KNOW.**_

"night, dad." Sans said, already sleepy.

"GOOD NIGHT!"

**_SLEEP WELL, BOYS._ **

Sans and Papyrus went upstairs and entered their room. Gaster lied on the couch and stared at the ceiling. He let out a deep sigh.

Even the blanket he slept with wasn't... warming him enough. He was feeling cold, somehow...

He missed Grillby's warmth. He wished he was there.

...

Gaster closed his eyes so he could get to sleep and stop thinking about him.

...

It didn't work.

But Gaster still tried. He would stop thinking about that sooner or later.

... Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally over!  
> Thank you all for the support! I really appreciate it :3
> 
>  
> 
> (This might have a continuation... but I'm not confirming anything)


End file.
